Where to start with the introductions....... I guess I had to first give you a glimpse of the RESTORATION phase of my walk as it is quite possible the most important part up to this point.
In sharing my history there is so much and yet I'm not sure what to share...... I guess I could start with I am an only child to my parents but I do have three half brothers and a half sister. I love them all dearly. Each one is so different and it is amazing at the difference in our relationships as a result of their personalities and mine. I am the oldest of all my siblings. My parents divorced when I was three..... Their divorce began a series of breakups that would continue for the next two decades. I was devastated at that point in my life and never trusted adults much again. There was one special person that God had placed in my life to shine his light through. She never gave up on me, she always loved me and always shared God's heart with me, even when I didn't want to hear it.
I can remember at fours years old thinking that all men and women were called to evangelize the world. I was a preacher at that age. Some of the best coined phrases of mine are, "Glory To God!" in the shrillest high pitched little girl voice I had at three....... Then there was "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" this is what I repeated over and over again with much force when I was scared or when friends and I were praying and didn't quite know what to pray. I had learned that all you had to do was call on the name of the Lord and he would be there with you in the midst of your present troubles..... so no matter how big or small...... I called on the name of the Lord.
The person in my life who never gave up on me?..... my grandmother, Peggy. She is my father's mother and has been there since my first breath in this world. She said of me when I was born that I looked like a little bird that had just fallen out of it's nest. Well I guess I must have, I had been through a terribly difficult and life threatening delivery. The doctors had approached my dad after almost 72 hours of labor and asked if he wanted them to try to save my mother or me as they could not save both. Of course he opted to save my mother as they could always try for more children, however God spared me! More on the ramifications of my birth later....
I moved out of my mother's home when I was 16 and lived with my grandmother until I was in my sophomore year of college. It was tough on Peggy, (Grams as I call her). But she hung in there and is still hanging in there with me today.
I married Jason at 22 and we had our first son Aden when I was 23, Jonah followed when I was 27. I thought life was going to be rosy. I had the family I desired and we were in church, surely God would bless us and our marriage would be lasting and our children God fearing..... but wait!
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when my marriage started to fall apart the summer I was pregnant with Jonah. It wasn't until several months had passed, our new baby was born, a separations that was two weeks from becoming a finalized divorce, tons of wasted money, more debt, fighting, and devastated children (all four of us) that I realized the fate/generational drama we had to contend with.
It was in our little counselors office in Wichita one afternoon that she began to have us diagram the marriages in our parents lives and the significant impact of other parental units and then the lack there of. Jason and I were amazed at the diagrams that sat finished in front of us. Between his two parents and my two parents there had been 16 marriages and divorces. This did not include the various serious romances that we went on vacation with or the times our parents thought their special person was, "The one", but never quite made the married list, and we wondered why packing up and closing shop was such an easy approach for us, Jason and I......
That has been 5 years ago, however I would be a fool to tell you that God healed us in one day. He didn't! Could he? Yes I'm sure he could, however it wasn't in the plan for us. In order to undo the years of devastation we had lived through we had to walk back through it and lay it down at the feet of Jesus. It took almost five years to heal many of those wounds. It wasn't easy, but it was surly worth it!
Today we are a picture of what it means to persevere through insurmountable odds. We have battle wounds but we are holding on to the hand of the man who stilled the water (Matt 8:23-27) together. We are not looking back over our shoulder any longer and we know that God is faithful to forgive and to restore the years the Locus and the canker worm have eaten.
The next few weeks we will walk through the pages of what my husband, Jason calls, "Exiting our Egypt". Just as Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt God has led us out of oppression and slavery as well.
I have to leave you with the scripture that God has guided me out of Egypt with .
2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 17-18.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
So let me encourage you, to not focus on what you see, but focus on the things that you don't see. Know that their is a spiritual battle being fought on your behalf and God is faithful to see you through the troubles you face today.
The rest as they say is history!
In sharing my history there is so much and yet I'm not sure what to share...... I guess I could start with I am an only child to my parents but I do have three half brothers and a half sister. I love them all dearly. Each one is so different and it is amazing at the difference in our relationships as a result of their personalities and mine. I am the oldest of all my siblings. My parents divorced when I was three..... Their divorce began a series of breakups that would continue for the next two decades. I was devastated at that point in my life and never trusted adults much again. There was one special person that God had placed in my life to shine his light through. She never gave up on me, she always loved me and always shared God's heart with me, even when I didn't want to hear it.
I can remember at fours years old thinking that all men and women were called to evangelize the world. I was a preacher at that age. Some of the best coined phrases of mine are, "Glory To God!" in the shrillest high pitched little girl voice I had at three....... Then there was "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" this is what I repeated over and over again with much force when I was scared or when friends and I were praying and didn't quite know what to pray. I had learned that all you had to do was call on the name of the Lord and he would be there with you in the midst of your present troubles..... so no matter how big or small...... I called on the name of the Lord.
The person in my life who never gave up on me?..... my grandmother, Peggy. She is my father's mother and has been there since my first breath in this world. She said of me when I was born that I looked like a little bird that had just fallen out of it's nest. Well I guess I must have, I had been through a terribly difficult and life threatening delivery. The doctors had approached my dad after almost 72 hours of labor and asked if he wanted them to try to save my mother or me as they could not save both. Of course he opted to save my mother as they could always try for more children, however God spared me! More on the ramifications of my birth later....
I moved out of my mother's home when I was 16 and lived with my grandmother until I was in my sophomore year of college. It was tough on Peggy, (Grams as I call her). But she hung in there and is still hanging in there with me today.
I married Jason at 22 and we had our first son Aden when I was 23, Jonah followed when I was 27. I thought life was going to be rosy. I had the family I desired and we were in church, surely God would bless us and our marriage would be lasting and our children God fearing..... but wait!
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when my marriage started to fall apart the summer I was pregnant with Jonah. It wasn't until several months had passed, our new baby was born, a separations that was two weeks from becoming a finalized divorce, tons of wasted money, more debt, fighting, and devastated children (all four of us) that I realized the fate/generational drama we had to contend with.
It was in our little counselors office in Wichita one afternoon that she began to have us diagram the marriages in our parents lives and the significant impact of other parental units and then the lack there of. Jason and I were amazed at the diagrams that sat finished in front of us. Between his two parents and my two parents there had been 16 marriages and divorces. This did not include the various serious romances that we went on vacation with or the times our parents thought their special person was, "The one", but never quite made the married list, and we wondered why packing up and closing shop was such an easy approach for us, Jason and I......
That has been 5 years ago, however I would be a fool to tell you that God healed us in one day. He didn't! Could he? Yes I'm sure he could, however it wasn't in the plan for us. In order to undo the years of devastation we had lived through we had to walk back through it and lay it down at the feet of Jesus. It took almost five years to heal many of those wounds. It wasn't easy, but it was surly worth it!
Today we are a picture of what it means to persevere through insurmountable odds. We have battle wounds but we are holding on to the hand of the man who stilled the water (Matt 8:23-27) together. We are not looking back over our shoulder any longer and we know that God is faithful to forgive and to restore the years the Locus and the canker worm have eaten.
The next few weeks we will walk through the pages of what my husband, Jason calls, "Exiting our Egypt". Just as Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt God has led us out of oppression and slavery as well.
I have to leave you with the scripture that God has guided me out of Egypt with .
2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 17-18.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
So let me encourage you, to not focus on what you see, but focus on the things that you don't see. Know that their is a spiritual battle being fought on your behalf and God is faithful to see you through the troubles you face today.
The rest as they say is history!
