Transformation Series- R is for Respect

R is for Respect-  What it really means to revere the man that you married!

 I have to admit that respect is a word that is often hard for me to say I completely understand. I didn’t grow up in a home that showed respect.  I know what it means to be respectful, but I can’t exactly tell you that I have always revered the man I married.  I have struggled to write this post....

Re vere

To feel deep respect or admiration for (something).

synonyms:

respect, admire, honor, think highly of, esteem, hold in high esteem, hold in high regard, look up to, put on a pedestal, lionize, reverence

 

 I have struggled so much that I thought I would take a week and study on Respect!  I have read the Book, Love and Respect by Dr. Eggeriches.  It’s a great read! 

 

 In love and respect Dr. Eggeriches talks about the CHAIRS acronym. He defines CHAIRS as the process by which a woman can achieve respect for her husband!

• ·         C is for Conquest- this is your husband’s need to work and achieve

• ·         H is for Hierarchy- This is about appreciating his need to protect and provide.

• ·         A is for Authority- This is his need to serve and to lead.

• ·         I is for Insight- This covers his need to analyze and counsel.

• ·         R is for Relationship- This is regarding his need for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship.

• ·         S is for Sexuality- This refers to his desire for sexual intimacy.

Unconditional respect is the central theme of how a woman should treat her spouse,

according to Dr. E. 

As I reviewed how I could show Jason that I respected him I realized that there are many things about him that I respect and that I needed to begin to tell him that what I respect about him.  I took Dr. E’s “Respect Test”.  I am happy to report success!

So how do I show Jason respect?.........

1.  I appriciate his need to provide and the career field he has chosen!  I take time daily to ask about how work is going for him and to listen to what is going on in his work life...  I keep it interesting for myself as well.  Because of my business background talking about work is often something that comes very naturally for me.  

2.  I have worked to step back and let Jason lead.  I don't try to critique his ability to lead, I simply let him lead.  there are times when I haven't always done a great job of following, so my focus in this season is to be sure that I am following his lead and not correcting his leadership abilities (This has been tough for me since I spent many years professionally coaching leaders and developing plans to  ensure successful leadership development). 

3.  I think that in stepping back to let Jason lead has also afforded me the ability to let him provide without question.  I do lovingly support his decisions, aspirations and dreams about what his career is and can become!  I love visioning with him!

So where do I struggle?......

1 I struggle with understanding what shoulder-to-shoulder relationship for Jason looks like.  This is something we have recently began to explore.  It use to be that I would feel very left out and even angry that he needed shoulder-to-shoulder relationship...... What about me?  God has done some tremendous work on my heart and my understanding of what this can mean for us as a couple....Today, we are of the mind that many of his relationships are best served in unity with me.  So we typically tend to hang out in couple situations.  Our friendships are based upon the couples we are close to and how our marriages can impact each other!  We are still a work in progress here!  I will say, God has been faithful. we are in a season of much needed and prayed for couples that we can spend quality, Godly time with!  I am hopeful of the outcomes.......

2.  I think understanding what sexual intimacy can be is something that looks so different for men and women.  I understand the mechanics here and even feel like I am able to full-fill this need, however I have to admit that what Jason needs here is very different than what I need, and sometimes that is a painful reality for me........  I feel secure and very hopeful despite our differences as I know that this is a place that we often visit and share about our likes, and needs!  We have come to a place of being very open about how we feel.  This isn't about who is right, or hurting each other emotionally.  This is just about desires and feelings.  No judgements, simply sharing together!

  As I look at Respect..... I know I am being Transformed!  God is amazing!

Thank you, Lord for teaching me how to respect my husband!  Please don't let a day pass that you don't remind me of the need to show him unconditional respect!- Amen

Blessings ~ R