TranSformation Series......S is for Sex..... Don’t be afraid to let transformation happen in the bedroom as well.

I always find sex a little bit difficult to talk about, but the fact of the matter is that making love is a crucial part of marriage and it can be a pivotal opportunity to allow God to show you how to really love your spouse in a more intimate way. 

¹⁰ How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
    How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume
    more than any spice!

Song of Solomon 4:10 (NIV)

Sometimes exploring what makes your spouse crazy in the bedroom isn’t the worst thing you can do.  I’m not talking about tying them up or staring in your own films.  I’m talking about taking your time...... Enjoying each other fully, whispering sweet sentiments in your spouse’s ear can really get the engine revving, if you know what I mean. 

TIP:...... The time you spend engaging what makes your spouse tick outside the bedroom will also serve as a catalyst for transformation in the bedroom.

Image Matters....

I won’t tell you it’s wrong to dress in something fun.... However remember we are talking about building desire not lust..... So keep that in mind as you shop...... Find out if your husband has a specific outfit you wear that he really likes.  It might be his flannel shirt with stockings... Or it might be a kitchen apron... Or the pencil skirt you wear......Or a strand of pearls accompanied by heals and your birthday suit.....


TIP:It shouldn't be about the money, instead make it about the memory.  Shopping at Victoria Secret doesn't always ensure he'll be pleased.! 

Sexy Foods......
 Historically foods have been found to enhance sexual desire and pleasure...... For many of us simple fruits and wines are the key... But for some there are recipes that have been handed down that have also been linked to fertility patterns.  Have fun with food!  The old adage... The way to a a man's heart is through his stomach rings true!
Foods that will make his mouth water........

Avocados....... Melon......Figs..... Apricots.....

   ......Berries......Kiwi.......

.....Black beans... Sushi.......  

  Truffles......Dark Chocolate

Trouble with the Two Step......

I would say even if you are struggling to communicate or are working through past offenses don’t hold out in the bedroom.  Ladies If you are looking to get even with your spouse or make him truly sorry the bedroom isn’t the place to do it. 

Let sex be the place where you remind each other of exactly how personal, important, selfless your love can be!  Sex was designed to be about intimacy....There are times when sex is more about the giving than it is about the receiving.  What if we all took the attitude of “Gifting”.... The idea that “making love” is from your spouse to you and from you to your spouse.  Your words and actions can make the experience all God created it to be!

I really like a book I recently read for sex and marriage.  

by: Ray Rhodes

He also includes a 7 day plan to cultivating intimacy in your marriage!

Making the right sexual memories

Science tells us that for each sexual encounter we have it is imprinted on our mind, body and soul.  This is why pornography can be so addicting and difficult to overcome.  There are some great resources to assist if porn has been an issue of the past, such as X3 Church and some self help books, and of course therapy.  Keep this in mind as you work on transformation in the bedroom. 

Focus on building the right memories.  I had a friend once tell me that talking about God and sex in the same sentence was wrong and really a downer.  I was very surprise as God made sex... After some time pondering her statement I realized that she had admitted something very key!  The world has infringed on the single most intimate interaction between a husband and wife and made is something to be on display.  To make is shameful, to make it racy and a competition.  It has become a sport so to speak!  But no more!  Ladies we can take back the bedroom and make it what God intended it to be. The adventure of making sex be fulfilling without being x rated is an art and one that is for the two of you alone!  Happy Hunting!

Blessings~ R