Love, Languages and Chapters......

Do you speak your spouse's love language?

  Dr. Gary Chapman, Author of The Five Love Languages gives five key ways in which individual give and receive love.  I would be remiss if I didn't share with you the Love Chapter in the middle of our Transformation Series...... I think it is never to early/late to be focused on your mate and working on your marriage.

 

The five concepts below are the Love Languages Dr. Chapman defines.  I would recommend going through the book with your spouse or at least the questionnaire to see what you and your spouse's five love languages are!  Just a tip.... over the last several years Jason and I have done the questionnaire more than once since in our marriage we have been through some major life changes, Kids, School, Career Changes... I have found my top three have been flip-flopped in different seasons of my life....

• Words of Affirmation
• Receiving of Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Quality Time
• Physical Touch

Once you know your husband's love language the sky is the limit for the ways you can show him love.  Even if you didn't get him to take the questionnaire you can still try some of the tips below and find out what he really likes.  Regardless of what you do, the key is to continually show him love through your words, actions, efforts and busy schedules...

 20 Great tips for improving the way you show love to your spouse!

1. Praise him in front of the kids.
2. Greet him at the door when he gets home–drop whatever you’re doing and go kiss him!
3. Make him a coffee to take with him in the morning.
4. Give him a backrub.
5. Ask him what he would enjoy doing on a date day/night?  Make it about his desires and interests too!
6. Tell him one thing you admire about him in relation to his work–and try to make it a different thing every time you say it!
7. Lay out his clothes for him the night before.
8. Put on lipstick and fix your hair 15 minutes before he’s expected home from work (or right before you arrive home from work!).
9. Text him and tell him specifically what you love doing with him.
10. Bring him a glass of water if he’s working out in the heat.
11. Ask him what he’d like for dinner–let him choose the menu at least once a week.
12. Wear something you know he loves.
13. Going out to pick up an ice cream/treat with the kids? Bring him one, too–even if you went out during the day when he was at work. Save it for him, with a note, “We were thinking of you!”
14. Rub him dry when he gets out of the shower–and put some “manly” moisturizer cream on him, or some talcum powder. Towel dry hair for him, and tell him you just love how he smells. Granted, this one may be a little sexual.
15. Pray for him while you’re lying in bed–out loud. Reach out, put your arm on his, and say a sentence-or-two prayer.
16. Walking by him? Reach out and touch him for a second!
17. Rub his feet while you’re watching TV. (You can even get a cloth and wash his feet and put some cream on them, too).
18. Ask him his advice on something–and then follow it (without challenging him!)
19. Ask him to explain something about a hobby to you.
20. Don’t just tell him you love him–tell him WHY you love him.

Remember as you try the 20 tips, that Love is an act it is not an emotion!  So if your best laid plans don't at first succeed, don't grow weary Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and focus on what God's word says about how love is modeled!  You can do it!  Have fun!  Be creative!  Most of all keep trying and keep PRAYING! 

Blessings~ R

N is for New Beginnings!!

We are still focusing on the Transformation Series.....

When you plant a seed you plant it believing it will eventually spring forth and produce a harvest.  One that might be nurturing or beautiful to the beholder.  I doubt many farmers and gardeners, while planting their seeds dwell on the fears of what might not come.  They focus instead on the positive outcome they are believing and praying for.  They nurture the land, and tend to the weeds as well.  

 

New beginnings was not something that came easy for Jason and I.  We spent much of our time going back to the same issues, holding the same grudges and remembering, “when this happens then the following will surely ensue.”  However as we found ourselves in those places, the dark recesses of our thought life.....We decided to do something about it!  The bible says we can and should take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ Jesus.....It was slow at first, very intentional, but very doable!  I found within days that I had more joy in my life!  I had hope!  I remembered how to dream again!  I was even excited to see Jason each day when we got home from work....I won’t lie to you and tell you that Jason thought the new beginning we had both agreed to would even work.  He will tell you that at first he only agreed to start over for our boys.  But as one day lead to the next, he couldn’t deny that something was different......

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, ² when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. ³ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. ⁵ For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, ⁶ like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.     1 Peter 3:1-6 (NIV)

We were learning how to play together so to speak.  We were exploring activities we both enjoyed to focus our couple time on!  We became intentional again about dating each other.  This didn’t include going to the movie, because going to the movie doesn’t give you time to focus on your spouse.  Instead we went to the duck pond and fed the ducks!  We went to a WSU basketball game together.  We worked out with each other 3 days a week!  We went hiking or sometimes just for an over night campout.

So how did it start?  It started with lots of prayer.... of being kind even when I didn’t feel like it. It started with me doing what was right, trusting God’s plan and note giving way to fear!  

 

Blessings~ R

Love Letters of Encouragement

 I am so excited to share one of the single greatest acts of love my husband has ever shown me!  The holiday's are often very difficult in my home...  Because my parents and Jason's parents have been married several times and there are lots of bad memories tied to some of those relationships we find that the Thanksgiving and Christmas season can be very difficult.  So many people write about what they are Thankful for and I always just feel blessed to have survived the holidays and for my children to not feel the pressure that Jason and I feel to conform to our families ideals.

Jason and I have spent several years breaking some of the generational curses that are deep rooted in our family.  I say it has taken some time not because God didn't want provide healing sooner but, because it took time for Jason and I to realize at times what the root of our struggle was from and to really take it to God.

This week has been tough.  I have been working on my Christmas plans for our children, a few of my siblings and close friends I received a call from back home about a family matter.  The matter was really of no importance however the way in which it was handled nearly shook me to my core!  I was so hurt!  Flor lorn that one of the people who has has always been so dear to my heart could say such hurtful things about me and without me being able to form any kind of response on my own behalf...... This was one of those things I was going to have to choose to forgive without her ever knowing how deep her comment had wounded me!  To hold her accountable would most surely create a war.....

This was a place where I cried out, "Jesus it's for you"

¹ I cry aloud to the Lord;
    I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.
² I pour out before him my complaint;
    before him I tell my trouble.

³ When my spirit grows faint within me,
    it is you who watch over my way.
In the path where I walk
    people have hidden a snare for me.

Psalm 142:1-3(NIV)

It wasn't an hour later my lovin' man sent me the message below...........

.... Hear that sound??  

It is the sound of a family tree, it roots are breaking. 
It breaks Seeking the good soil God intended it to have. 
It chooses to break, chooses not to feed on the crap the generations before feed off of, 

chooses to manage resources in order to bear its best fruit ever in the very next season. 
Yes this tree is forever changed when it's roots break, 

and the fruit it produces is even better than good fruits produced in the past.... 
Yes this family tree's future is quite bright for choosing to break

~ Love Jason