Building your Prayers with Solid Rock! Miracles Happen.....

I wanted to post a quick follow up to Praying for you spouse......

In response to so many of my close contacts looking for scriptures to pray for their spouse I wanted to post three key scriptures that are so relevant for every circumstance.

This is the foundation of my prayer life and keeping it effective!


God “is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us” (Ephesians 3:20). I believe God has more for us than we can imagine if we will live His way and let Him live through us.

"the things which are impossible with men are possible with God” (Luke 18:27). I believe that God is the God of the impossible.

 we should be “anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving” let our “requests be made known to God”. And when we do “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding” will guard our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7). I believe we should pray about all things instead of worry about everything.

Blessings~ R

R- is for Romance. Reflect on what 1st appealed to you about your spouse and work on re-kindling the love!

We are focusing on the R in TransfoRmation today..... 

I love thinking back to some of the dates that Jason took me on when we were first dating.  I can remember the newness of the relationship, the excitement of learning about his thoughts and feelings, the anticipation of his next call.........

 May your fountain be blessed,
    and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

 Proverbs 5:18(NIV)

Over the first three years of our marriage I quit being so focused on Jason and began to focus more on our baby, the house, bills, school  and work.  The newness and excitement seems to kind of wear off so to speak....It was around that time that God really called me to stop and focus on how distant Jason and I had become!  We were living as strangers in the same home........

At first I panicked and then I was sad..... I spent much of my time only focusing on what had once been.  I couldn't think of any recent points in our marriage that were spent between the two of us, just focusing on each other and having the time to be tender and "In the Moment"..... It was here where God began to teach me about how to Re-Kindle the love........

Dating your spouse shouldn't end when you say, "I Do"!

 

So how can you continue to date your spouse?

1. First do things together!  Commit to spending time together as a couple first and fore most.  The world will not help you focus on your coupleness..... 
2. Be intentional about your time!
3. Commit to care! (set up special moments on purpose!)

For us, because we were on a tight budget

 I would find affordable ideas of candle light, living room floor dates or Jason brought me my favorite candy in exchange for a kiss.........

I have included a simple list we still use for dates...

• Create a playlist of some of our favorite songs from when were dating...
•  dressed up and did my hair before he got home, fed the baby and put him to bed early so that Jason and I could focus on each other.
• We started doing bible studies together and talking about what we were learning.
• We started taking walks together- Exercise and intimacy go hand in hand.  We were simply enjoying each others company.
• Dancing in the kitchen floor late a night.....
• Breakfast in bed with a one liner of why I love him....
• Showing up to my work to whisk me away via motorcycle for a quick lunch..... He took my breath away!!!!!
• On rare occasions we had a sitter and then went to dinner....... A quite dinner where you can focus on each other...... ie....  Picnics,  a secluded restaurant, Our friends RV in our drive way, after we put our kids to bed in the house. 

The point to remember is keep it simple and make it matter for the two of you!  I think I actually enjoy dating Jason as much now as I did before we got Married!
I am looking forward to an evening together tonight Cheering for his beloved Shockers.... It's the little things he wants to share with me that are so special!

He still makes my heart go, "pitter, patter"

Blessings,
R

TransfOrmation Series......O- is for Openness to God’s plan.

God has great plans for your marriage!.......................................................

..............................................................He wants to give you a Great marriage!

 

So often I hear people tell me one of two things..... Are you ready for it?........ I know it will be a kicker

1. We have a great marriage!  I love my spouse.
2. They have a terrible marriage!  Did you see how he treats her.  Do you see how she talks about him?

What I have found to be true is both 1 and 2.  What I mean is marriage is great until is suddenly isn't!  Most marriages don't suffer in silence.  Most men and women will not stick with something that isn't working for them!  The old saying don't beat a dead horse comes to mind.....

So how does transformation fit into my rant?
God designed us to fit each other.... female to fit a male.   I wonder if we can be open to God's plan for our marriage?

God said he looked at man and it was not good for him to be alone so he created female.  She is bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh (Genesis)

   

I think most people lie to themselves a little each day.... We tell ourselves that we don't have to live with the way our spouse treats us.

Over time that lie becomes a truth we are willing to embrace, because we have told ourselves that lie for so long that we have reduced ourselves to being OK with it.  So we begin to seek out other activities that we focus our affections on.  Such as our children, friends, school activities our kids are involved in.  All the while our marriage is slowly dying.
 We believe that we can have the fairytale and when it doesn't look like the picture below we throw in the towel......

 

One day we wake up and realize our marriage is dead and we are frantic to know how to get rid of it or to quickly revive it.  The truth is God is a God of restoration.  He raised a dead man!  He parted a sea so that people could walk across on DRY land!  And I can tell you first hand that he can resurrect a dead or dying marriage!  I will also tell you it doesn't happen over night and it takes dedication. 

It isn't easy but he will show you the way if you are willing to follow his plan.  His entire word is built on relationship.  It is built on accountability, and love.  Those are three things that are crucial in marriage as well! 

God's word say.........

May your fountain be blessed,
    and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

Proverbs 5:18(NIV) 

I am praying this for marriages I know that are struggling today!  

On Tuesday I spoke to a small group of ladies about restoration in Marriage.  I was so impressed that even after several years of focusing on my marriage and my spouse that I can be so moved by the words of a woman broken for her marriage!  I have resolved this week to doting on my husband!  I am not looking him to repay the favor.  I simply want to focus on cherishing him, because he is fearfully and wonderfully made and God has blessed him as the head of our home!  He is my protector, my provider and I want to be thankful..........

How has God asked  you to commit to working on your marriage? 

 

 Praying for you all to be love birds again!

Blessings~ R

Feelings are powerful!

 

 

 

 

The worst battle 

you have to fight

 is between what

 you know and 

what you feel.

Cheesy BBQ Potato Skins

These potato skins are great for parties, snacks or a side to a main dish

Ingredients:

• 6-10 Sliced potatoes
• Green onion cut up, 1 to 2 bunches
• real bacon pieces
• 16 oz. bag Shredded Colby Jack Cheese
• BBQ sauce
• Olive Oil to baste the potatoes

Set the oven to 350'

Slice the potatoes and mix with olive oil in a large bowl.  Spread the coated potatoes evenly on a cookie sheet.  Place in over for 15 minutes.

Remove from Oven and flip the potatoes.  After turning them, baste with BBQ sauce of choice.  I use sweet Baby Ray's or my homemade sauce.  Cook for an additional 15 minutes on this side.

Remove from oven and add shredded cheese, green onion, and bacon bits return to the oven for 7-10 minutes or until golden brown and bubbly.

Remove from oven and serve with sour cream or ranch dressing

Feeds 6-8 servings depending on size of the potatoes before slicing.

TransFormation Series......F is for Feelings~

Talking about feelings

 helps us to understand how our husband feels 

and where he is in our marriage.

Let me just start with the disclaimer that I stole from a dear friend...... My intro could probably read, "Mouth of the Midwest!"  I wanted to start with that as my only segway to a tough topic for me.......

The key to talking about feelings is just that!!!  They are simply feelings.   We don't have to agree with how our husband feels, but we should be willing to hear how he feels.  It doesn't make him right and you wrong.  It simply means he feels thing, just as you do!  It doesn't have to be anyone's fault that he feels good or bad about something.  It might be that when you do a certain thing such as complain about the mess he leaves on the floor in the bathroom or by the backdoor,  he feels that he isn't wanted or that he is creating a huge imposition for you.  Maybe, it's the way you always have something to say and he rarely does so in a group of friends when he suddenly speaks up and you cut him off......It's a little bit of a surprise to both of you.... For you it is odd to hear him share something.... For him it might be a huge moment that is very important......And the fact that he was just interrupted made him feel devalued and unheard...... This later leads to him not caring about what you have to say as much as he seemed to before......Hmmmm...Yeah.... Sounds like a familiar story......Oh yeah... silly girl... It is my story!

So how did I change it?  I started focusing totally on Jason.  I studied him. I made notes of all of things he said.  I made notes about the things he didn't say.  I watched his expression.  I watched his habits.  I learned all over again as if this was the first time I had met him.  I mean the subtle little things our spouse does.   Outside of the things about them that make us crazy.  For example...... Jason loves to listen to classical music.  He is actually fairly well versed.  I have always wanted to go to the symphony, and I now realize this is something he would love to take me to do with him! I don't have to dream about it alone.  I can talk about it with him.  I really know very little but Jason on the other hand...... I think it is actually something that will be more fulfilling for him than it might be fore me!  

I have learned that sometimes just sitting quietly with him was the best way to communicate my love for him and to show him respect.  I learned from him that by just being near him without an agenda he felt cared for and valued.  He didn't have to entertain me, we could just simply be.......

 

The funny thing about feelings is that they hold a great amount of value to the one with the feeling, but often are misunderstood or not heard by the one that has sworn to love the most.  So what am I saying??? Because I wasn't really listening to Jason I was showing him I didn't really care about his feelings!!! Yikes! Sad, but somewhat true.... I assumed since he rarely talked about how he felt or what he thought that he must not really be feeling much, however quite the opposite was true!

Jason actually is one of the most feeling people I know.  He often is very quite about his feelings and keeps them mostly to himself, but he feels deeply, he is a romantic of sorts! I am so blessed that Jason could muster the courage to forgive me for being so careless with his feelings....

Be kind and compassionate to one another, 

forgiving eachother,

just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32(NIV)

Tip:

Try just listening to how your spouse feels......Don't get angry, Just listen...... Having feelings is not about blaming the other person for the way you feel.  Just listen.  Keep that in mind as you talk....... Don't try to out feel your spouse....... Just hear them out.  Knowing how your spouse is feeling can give you great insight in how to care most for and about them.  listening can give you the key to effective prayer for your spouse.  It can also give you insight into things that you might want to change in how you talk to or about your spouse.  It might even lead to a new awareness, an apology, a deeply rekindled flame of love!

One of the silly songs Jason sometimes encourages me with when he is in a very vocal and melodious mood is "Common Baby, Light My Fire"! Thank God I finally learned how to quit putting a damper on the flame! 

I pray this week would be a time for you to really hear your husband and to learn how to really "light his fire"!

 

Blessings~ R

 

  

 

 

The Kind of Woman

LOVE.........At Christmas Time

Love came down at Christmas;
Love all lovely, love divine;
Love was born at Christmas,
Stars and angels gave the sign.

Christina Rossetti

TranSformation Series......S is for Sex..... Don’t be afraid to let transformation happen in the bedroom as well.

I always find sex a little bit difficult to talk about, but the fact of the matter is that making love is a crucial part of marriage and it can be a pivotal opportunity to allow God to show you how to really love your spouse in a more intimate way. 

¹⁰ How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
    How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume
    more than any spice!

Song of Solomon 4:10 (NIV)

Sometimes exploring what makes your spouse crazy in the bedroom isn’t the worst thing you can do.  I’m not talking about tying them up or staring in your own films.  I’m talking about taking your time...... Enjoying each other fully, whispering sweet sentiments in your spouse’s ear can really get the engine revving, if you know what I mean. 

TIP:...... The time you spend engaging what makes your spouse tick outside the bedroom will also serve as a catalyst for transformation in the bedroom.

Image Matters....

I won’t tell you it’s wrong to dress in something fun.... However remember we are talking about building desire not lust..... So keep that in mind as you shop...... Find out if your husband has a specific outfit you wear that he really likes.  It might be his flannel shirt with stockings... Or it might be a kitchen apron... Or the pencil skirt you wear......Or a strand of pearls accompanied by heals and your birthday suit.....


TIP:It shouldn't be about the money, instead make it about the memory.  Shopping at Victoria Secret doesn't always ensure he'll be pleased.! 

Sexy Foods......
 Historically foods have been found to enhance sexual desire and pleasure...... For many of us simple fruits and wines are the key... But for some there are recipes that have been handed down that have also been linked to fertility patterns.  Have fun with food!  The old adage... The way to a a man's heart is through his stomach rings true!
Foods that will make his mouth water........

Avocados....... Melon......Figs..... Apricots.....

   ......Berries......Kiwi.......

.....Black beans... Sushi.......  

  Truffles......Dark Chocolate

Trouble with the Two Step......

I would say even if you are struggling to communicate or are working through past offenses don’t hold out in the bedroom.  Ladies If you are looking to get even with your spouse or make him truly sorry the bedroom isn’t the place to do it. 

Let sex be the place where you remind each other of exactly how personal, important, selfless your love can be!  Sex was designed to be about intimacy....There are times when sex is more about the giving than it is about the receiving.  What if we all took the attitude of “Gifting”.... The idea that “making love” is from your spouse to you and from you to your spouse.  Your words and actions can make the experience all God created it to be!

I really like a book I recently read for sex and marriage.  

by: Ray Rhodes

He also includes a 7 day plan to cultivating intimacy in your marriage!

Making the right sexual memories

Science tells us that for each sexual encounter we have it is imprinted on our mind, body and soul.  This is why pornography can be so addicting and difficult to overcome.  There are some great resources to assist if porn has been an issue of the past, such as X3 Church and some self help books, and of course therapy.  Keep this in mind as you work on transformation in the bedroom. 

Focus on building the right memories.  I had a friend once tell me that talking about God and sex in the same sentence was wrong and really a downer.  I was very surprise as God made sex... After some time pondering her statement I realized that she had admitted something very key!  The world has infringed on the single most intimate interaction between a husband and wife and made is something to be on display.  To make is shameful, to make it racy and a competition.  It has become a sport so to speak!  But no more!  Ladies we can take back the bedroom and make it what God intended it to be. The adventure of making sex be fulfilling without being x rated is an art and one that is for the two of you alone!  Happy Hunting!

Blessings~ R

Calzone

Dough

I use the same dough that is listed on my Bierocks recipe.  These are super easy to make, very filling and my family loves them!  I had a total cost of $7.00 in making these.

Makes 5 calzones

Dough 

• 2 cups warm water
• 2 (.25 ounce) packages active dry yeast
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1/4 cup margarine, softened
• 1 egg
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 7 cups all-purpose flour   

  Filling

• 1lb hamburger 

• 1lb sausage

• 1 yellow onion

• 1 small can mushrooms

• 1/2 medium red  pepper

• 1/2 medium yellow pepper 

• 1 can pizza sauce or you can try my homemade pizza sauce

• Four Cheese blend shredded cheese or mozzarella

• Italian seasoning

Directions

Prepare dough: In a large bowl, dissolve yeast in warm water. 
Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes (unless you use instant yeast, then you don't need to dissolve or wait just add it to the dry mixture, don't forget the water) Mix in sugar, margarine, egg, salt and 1/2 of the flour. Beat until smooth; add remaining flour until dough pulls together. Place in oiled bowl. Cover with foil and refrigerate for 2 hours or overnight, OR let it rise for 1 hour.

 

Next fry up the meat, add onion, diced peppers, mushrooms and minced garlic half way through browning.  Drain grease.  

Add pizza sauce... Make sure it isn't soupy or the calzone will leak heat.  

warm for 2 minutes.  Pull from fire. 

 Let cool slightly so that it doesn't melt the dough.

Take the dough and separate into 5 balls.

Roll dough out and fill with meat mixture and sprinkle with cheese and Italian seasoning. 

 Fold side over and press and roll edges to seal. Sprinkle cheese on top..

 Bake 3 to a sheet for 20 minutes or until golden brown.

Use a spatula to remove from the pan.  Serve immediately.

Blessings ~R

Love, Languages and Chapters......

Do you speak your spouse's love language?

  Dr. Gary Chapman, Author of The Five Love Languages gives five key ways in which individual give and receive love.  I would be remiss if I didn't share with you the Love Chapter in the middle of our Transformation Series...... I think it is never to early/late to be focused on your mate and working on your marriage.

 

The five concepts below are the Love Languages Dr. Chapman defines.  I would recommend going through the book with your spouse or at least the questionnaire to see what you and your spouse's five love languages are!  Just a tip.... over the last several years Jason and I have done the questionnaire more than once since in our marriage we have been through some major life changes, Kids, School, Career Changes... I have found my top three have been flip-flopped in different seasons of my life....

• Words of Affirmation
• Receiving of Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Quality Time
• Physical Touch

Once you know your husband's love language the sky is the limit for the ways you can show him love.  Even if you didn't get him to take the questionnaire you can still try some of the tips below and find out what he really likes.  Regardless of what you do, the key is to continually show him love through your words, actions, efforts and busy schedules...

 20 Great tips for improving the way you show love to your spouse!

1. Praise him in front of the kids.
2. Greet him at the door when he gets home–drop whatever you’re doing and go kiss him!
3. Make him a coffee to take with him in the morning.
4. Give him a backrub.
5. Ask him what he would enjoy doing on a date day/night?  Make it about his desires and interests too!
6. Tell him one thing you admire about him in relation to his work–and try to make it a different thing every time you say it!
7. Lay out his clothes for him the night before.
8. Put on lipstick and fix your hair 15 minutes before he’s expected home from work (or right before you arrive home from work!).
9. Text him and tell him specifically what you love doing with him.
10. Bring him a glass of water if he’s working out in the heat.
11. Ask him what he’d like for dinner–let him choose the menu at least once a week.
12. Wear something you know he loves.
13. Going out to pick up an ice cream/treat with the kids? Bring him one, too–even if you went out during the day when he was at work. Save it for him, with a note, “We were thinking of you!”
14. Rub him dry when he gets out of the shower–and put some “manly” moisturizer cream on him, or some talcum powder. Towel dry hair for him, and tell him you just love how he smells. Granted, this one may be a little sexual.
15. Pray for him while you’re lying in bed–out loud. Reach out, put your arm on his, and say a sentence-or-two prayer.
16. Walking by him? Reach out and touch him for a second!
17. Rub his feet while you’re watching TV. (You can even get a cloth and wash his feet and put some cream on them, too).
18. Ask him his advice on something–and then follow it (without challenging him!)
19. Ask him to explain something about a hobby to you.
20. Don’t just tell him you love him–tell him WHY you love him.

Remember as you try the 20 tips, that Love is an act it is not an emotion!  So if your best laid plans don't at first succeed, don't grow weary Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and focus on what God's word says about how love is modeled!  You can do it!  Have fun!  Be creative!  Most of all keep trying and keep PRAYING! 

Blessings~ R